back to school blues
Tuesday 8.24.2010
I miss buying school supplies. 
I know. I’m such a nerd. But I can be a cool nerd with these Poketo for Target pencil bags! I used to get a new one almost every school year. My favorite one was the plastic Keroppi box with the stackable compartment and matching erasers. Oh man. I would have to save up an arm and a leg to afford those overpriced Sanrio accessories. I still remember carrying my plastic Pachacco bag around with my little tin Pachacco pencil case and plastic Hello Kitty wallet. Yeahhh, I’m surprised I never got beat up for such a pencil box geek. I wonder if they still make those musical pencil cases anymore. The ones you can grab at the dollar store and it has a little piano keyboard on the plastic lid. I used to have a yellow one. Gonna check out the dollar store tomorrow and find out. Seeing my little cousin fret over what to bring or what color her Jansport backpack should be and whether or not her friends will have the same lunch hour with her on her first day of high school makes me nostalgic.
Texas
Friday 6.18.2010
When I was in high school, I had this silly ol’ website where I’d post scanned photographs of all my friends and all the adventures we’d get ourselves into. Just the other day, I thought about it and visited the website, and it was quite a trip down memory lane. I used to carry my Canon or my brother’s Pentax around everywhere I went. Quite the little historian I was. And then my sister got that little digital camera and the photographs increased, and the silliness increased. I kind of miss going to Eckerds to develop my film and always requesting “white borders please.” I’m glad I scanned these old black and white photographs. Taken during my freshman year in collage. It kind of sums up Texas for me. I’m gonna take my old Canon out tomorrow.. damn I miss that darkroom.
vintage,
Retropolis (when it was just a little one story shop by the Pho place),
cows, random cows all over town,
Chucks, and the boys that go with them,
Galveston, beach houses and lots of photographs of our feet in the sand,
Austin, that graffiti wall,
when we had no plans
Excerpts from the 4th grade: heartbreak on a waving banner
Monday 5.10.2010
- Shel Silverstein
I was reading Where the Sidewalk Ends again and this poem reminded me of someone.
The first time I was introduced to Shel Silverstein was 4th grade, Mr. Piana’s English class. Piana. rhymes with Diana. First love of my life.
Imagine a rounder version of Bono in a dark blue dress shirt that fitted him so well, you could see the roundness of his belly protruding through his pants. He had these eyes that could look at you like you were the only person in the room. And when he read Lazy Jane out loud to the class, he didn’t just read the poem, he performed each word with such clarity and charisma that you couldn’t take your eyes or your attention off of him for even one second.
We had these reading sessions once a week where everyone would share excerpts from their writing journal. This one girl, Deana, rhymes with Leeana, read her journal entry about a dream she had the other night. The dream was about her boyfriend who came into her bedroom during the night and how this excited her and made her feel all weird inside. She would toss her hair from left to right when she read her journal out loud to the class. She giggled at all the awkward moments so precisely, you would think she had rehearsed the entire performance the night before. All the boys were really into her story and wanted to know if her boyfriend banged her into the night and all the girls in the class just wished this crazy story would end soon because they didn’t want to hear about Deana’s slutty exploits. After 15 minutes of listening to Deana’s tween sexual desires and confusions, Mr. Piana politely complimented her writing skills. He didn’t indulge her or anything. He was so mature that way. He spoke to her like an adult and moved on. I remember telling myself, “Nice try, Deana, but Mr. Piana’s in love with me, not a ho bag like you.”
I knew this because Mr. Piana told me himself. It was during my drawing sessions during class. I had these erratic moments during English when I would just bust out my crayons and start drawing things when I had nothing else to do. And during one of these moments, when I was drawing a fruit bowl, Mr. Piana came over to me and whispered, “Tu-Anh, that is really good. I would love it if you could make me a copy.” I was over the moon with happiness! Mr. Piana, love of my life, just confessed his true feelings to me! Of course, he couldn’t just out right and say “I love you,” what with all the other kids sitting so nearby. He was such a tease that way. So that night, I took out the cleanest sheet of wide ruled paper I had and drew the most gorgeous fruit bowl. It took me a lot longer to finish. I was nervous, what can I say? I mean, I’d done plenty of fruit bowls before. A lot, actually. So much that I was dealing them out to other kids like a deck of cards. But this one. This one was for Mr. Piana. I drew every grape with precision. I added shadow and highlights. I crosshatched in the shadow of the bowl and did some stippling in the oranges for texture. I even drew a banner on top! This was particularly difficult, because if you didn’t know how to draw a waving banner correctly, you’d end up with a funky rectangle. I couldn’t do that to Mr. Piana.
So the next day when I went to school, I made sure I had the cutest outfit on. White tights and a yellow Tweety Bird tee-shirt that was knotted to the side. My fruit bowl masterpiece was safe in my trapper keeper. When I approached his desk that afternoon to tell him I had his picture ready, he acted really surprised. Such a tease, I tell you! And when I gave him the fruit bowl piece de resistance, his eyes just lit up. It was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen, I just knew. And then, the moment that ruined my life forever. He said, “Thank you” and placed the picture next to a photo of his wife and kid. His wife and kid! She was thin and gorgeous and red haired. His baby boy inherited his mother’s fine features and fiery hair. They all looked so happy in that photo. All the while, my heart broke in two. I mean, this was the man I wanted to marry so that he could read me to sleep every night and look deeply into my eyes for the rest of my life. He was my Mr. Piana.
a fine frenzy
Monday 3.22.2010
It never ceases to amaze me that every time I am in search of a misplaced item in my room, I always end up being completely immersed in a nostalgic frenzy with boxes of old stuff. A few years is such a long time now that I think about it. I can’t ‘t even remember past last year, so it was great going through these old polaroids and letters from friends.
pink walls in a pink bungalow by the shore and sunsets on the beach
a favorite red dress of the week maybe?
fun with make-up. not just for thirteen year-olds
wow. an old Hello Kitty wallet. It’s probably considered vintage you know.
my collection of wacky Japanese postcards sent back to me, re-vamped. a mix CD compilation in a decked-out envelope.
and an old photo of my Mom . and me. in Vietnam.
a perfect pear
Sunday 2.14.2010
to all you lovebirds.
…a view from our window
I think Tet has become my second favorite holiday after Christmas. I decorated the house a week and a half early this year, because I was so excited for the new year. Dad thinks I’m the crazy flower/fruit lady. It might just be my weird thing, but I love grocery shopping. I love to spend time picking fruits and vegetables and taking my time browsing all the different aisles. And especially, when I go to Central market, I just can’t help but leave the store with a bouquet or two. Those huge pears remind of Mrs. Sajda’s still life sessions in high school and Amanda’s pastel drawing. I heart chartreuse.
I’ll eat you up, I love you so…
Saturday 10.17.2009
Caught the late showing of Where the Wild Things Are last night. I just love love love it. One of my top all time favorite movies despite all the negative reviews out there. This is from my favorite moment in the film. It just made my heart swell. Perhaps it’s the constant sunset scenes that Spike Jonze uses throughout the movie, but there’s a warmth about the film that just makes me miss my childhood so much. I think even if anyone who has never read Maurice Sendak’s story would feel the same after watching this movie.
My first Saturday off in long time today. I slept in with the cat all day and then took my bike out for a ride in the neighborhood. I thought about the movie all day and closed my eyes and imagined I was young again. I imagined riding down the hills on my little red bike with the neighborhood kids chasing us. I’m lying on a hill and Minnie is sleeping in the sun. I know if I move, she’d get up to go to sleep under the agapanthus shrubs, so I just lie there staring at her paws. I’m sitting on the rusty stairs by the old apartment. It’s our last day here and the sun sets on my face. It’s the same stairway where Tuan and I rescued the baby bluebird. And I remember us pulling my Radioflyer around the pool area past the laundry room when we tried to runaway for a day. I remember that I would remember that day forever. I’m sitting in front of the cathedral-like windows in the school library reading Farthest Away Mountain. I think this novel is good, maybe even as good as Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of Nimh. We’re all at the playground and I’m picking wild thistles and golden buttercups for Ms. Margaret. She keeps them on her desk until they wilt and dry up. Elaine and I are sitting in the clover patch looking for four leaf clovers. This is the same playground where Sean kicks me in the forehead. We’re sitting in a park and Mary is drinking from her pink juice box. I’m jealous because I only have apple juice. All these amazing memories flash through my head. The constant sun is shining one me in every scene.
Chomp. or whatever kind of noise a giraffe makes
Tuesday 9.8.2009
View from Sophie Calle’s studio. She says that the stuffed giraffe’s head reminds her of her late mother whose similar expression hovers over her as she works. Creepy and kind of awesome at the same time.
An Abby Goodman creation. I saw these hybrid creatures at an exhibition at the Poissant gallery awhile back. They’re really delicate and beautiful in person. I know butterflies are often thought of as serene and pretty little things, but they really creep me out. I used to try to catch them when I was young until my mom told me that they had poisonous powders all over their wings. I caught one of those Monarch butterflies once, and being the rebellious kid I was, I touched the butterfly’s wings. It was the eeriest feeling. I could feel the butterfly trying to move but I had pinched its wings together so hard it could barely wiggle. It wasn’t just the powders that got to me. I could felt every little single feeler on the the butterfly’s wing. I let it go immediately, and even though I only held it in my fingers for a brief second, I still felt the feelers all over my hands. It gives me the heebie-jeebies just thinking about it right now. Yeah. I said heebie-jeebies.
birthday wishes and chocolate cake
Thursday 8.27.2009
I think for the first time in a while, we actually celebrated my birthday on my actual birth date. Having a birthday in late August usually means the beginning of school and tight schedules, but there is something nice about a celebration on your actual birth date. It’s a more official feeling.
We made reservations to meet at the Backstreet Cafe for one of those sit-down dinners that we haven’t had for awhile. The patio was cool thanks to a well placed fan and hovering trees. We chatted and discussed Zelda and bad movies verses good movies and school and jobs and wedding plans among other things that I can’t seem to recall clearly at the moment. It was one of those great dinners that lasted 3 hours into the night. I hung out with friends I hadn’t hung with so often since we parted ways in high school , and it was comfortable and agreeable. I used to be one of those people who had abandonment issues when high school graduation was over and I needed to be assured that the people who signed “Friends-4-Eva” and “K.I.T” in your yearbooks would be the same ones who I’d hang out with forever. And then , the usual college drifting occurred and I couldn’t handle these separations, or, I didn’t know people were allowed to leave me behind. But I think, time has done me very good, and especially now, I feel more at ease with myself more than anything. And it’s still surprising to me when I see these same people who I thought had abandoned me long ago, I find that we fall right back into place where we left off these years. And these are good moments. Good conversations. I appreciate it more.
Clouds as seen from the car window as we drove down 45 and the slow winding traffic. I feel very excited at this moment. Tuan is driving and my anticipation runs high. The clouds look like Spackle texture on a blue wall.
Birds on a canvas….reminds me of Camilo and his Migration, and I hear riots in the streets all over again. The red sunset can blind you if you look at it directly.
Waiting and watching the crowds as Tuan negotiates for her cake pickup. A girl walks into the glass door as she leaves and her friends try not to laugh so hard.
I like the look of vines. It gives a house better character.
Purple flowers from Mona brightens the beginning of a very good night.
One last group photo before we leave the restaurant. I like the way the trees and bushes hover over and surround us like a summer day in Vietnam. I swear, Andrew grows an inch taller everytime I see him in pictures.
Something to look forward to next year, my “golden birthday!” (no pun intended 
)
